All you need to know about my intimate, garden wedding

Weddings are great social affairs. They can be fun and sweet and make for great school reunions. Especially when you're 25 and all your friends are getting married, you're pretty much set for an eventful year of wedding glee.

Meanwhile, to a bride & groom, weddings are the happiest day of their lives. They are public declarations of love between two people. Sentimental, eye-tearing events that they countdown to (mine was on Instagram). Weddings are special.

Thus, to plan the perfect wedding can be difficult. There are so many things to consider, right? What's my budget? Who should I invite? What do I wear? 

You see, I didn't have the perfect wedding. But it was special and thus, it was perfect to me.

So let me tell you how I planned mine. 

How it started

My husband & I started planning our big day as early as 8 months before our wedding. We had an early start because 1) I was enthusiastic and excited. 2) I needed something to focus on outside work. 3) I was too anxious to leave it all to the last minute. I think most brides would agree.

So in the Malaysian summer of 2021 (re: March), I whipped up my laptop and began reaching out to event venues, decorators, and designers. Of course, things got overwhelming, fast. Again, this is NORMAL. So how did I, and do you, cope?

1. Start a moodboard. 

This is 100% effective at visualising your "dream" wedding. Get inspiration from Pinterest or other people's weddings. It's basically like making a scrapbook. I did mine on Canva.

2. Stay organised. 

Make checklists for anything and everything. Visited a wedding venue? Add it to the list. List out the pros / cons. Go full on Monica. 

Here's a template.

3. Start BIG. 

Finalising your venue helps to cross out a few things off your list early. Do I need to hire a caterer? What's included in the package? Most venues offer comprehensive packages, some more flexible than others. Work your way down to the smaller details i.e. doorgifts, table deco, name cards.

Remember, you can be as involved as you want in planning your wedding. If you've got room in your budget to hire a wedding planner, by all means hire one. You can even be your own wedding planner or find someone you trust to do it. It's your choice!

How it turned out

I can give you a 1001 tips, but as my bosses at work often say: seeing is believing. So let me spend some time to share more details on my wedding. 

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My nikah ceremony was intimate and small - just the way I wanted it to be. I was privileged enough to negotiate with my parents for more autonomy on what goes and what doesn't, since I was the youngest and last to be married. As a compromise, my wedding reception hosted more of their guests rather than mine - this worked out well since I didn't really care much for reception ceremonies.

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Hence, from early on I already knew what my priorities were.

• Die-die must be an outdoor, garden wedding
• Only invite people who care
• Splurge on the right photographer

Alas, I had my dream garden wedding. And it was one of the best, dreamiest days of my life.

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As I'm writing this post, I realised that there is so much to share. I've decided to take out wedding expenses/ budgeting from the post for now, so I can write more about it in a later post if anyone is interested.

Ok, let's get back to it. One thing you should know is that every bride has their wins and regrets. I think that's a safe assumption to make, yes? The thing is we don't talk about our regrets as often. We'd like to think our wedding was perfect, and it is, to us. It might come up in a conversation in passing, but we don't really dwell on the bad part, which is fine. Because at the end of the day, you're married. You're happy.

But I think wedding regrets (and wins) can be helpful for future brides. So this is that part of the post where I tell you what mine were.

Wins - I'm glad I...

1. Wore the same dress I had made custom for both my nikah and reception (on different days). Brides, you CAN style the same dress differently - no shame whatsoever! I wore this long bridal cape from Shopee during my wedding reception and I loved it.
2. Splurged on my wedding photography. We wanted a photographer who specialised in candid moments and warmer tones. @/azizulazman’s team did an AMAZING job.
   
3. Hired a videographer albeit last-minute. We were sure we didn't want a wedding video because they can get cringy due to exaggerated, acted out shots. But thanks to my sister for pestering me, I chose to trust a friend @eijeneijam to do the job, and he who knew exactly what we wanted: to capture real, candid moments. 

Regrets - I wished I...

1. Wore a baju kurung modern for my nikah instead of a dress. I truly was indecisive between the two but I decided to go for the dress because it was more versatile. Can't say a part of me didn't wish to dress more modest + traditional, though.
2. Invited more people at my nikah. I had invited 50 pax on the dot, including family + friends + photographer/ MUA/ videographer, so during the ceremony there were empty seats. Don't be too rigid with your guestlist. Now I understand what they mean by “the more, the merrier”.
3. Hired a film photographer.
   

TLDR

This post isn't about planning a budget wedding.